Following our telephone conversation of this morning, I have gained the impression that you do not take my report of a derelict vehicle seriously, thus my resorting to the written form.

It is true that a vehicle could be used at times when I am not aware of its movement, despite the fact that I drive along this main road up to eight times a day, and the owner return it to exactly the same position, or near enough, as when I last saw it. However, I beg to differ with your office-bound assessment by reiterating the following observations: the tax lapsed six months ago; the front passenger window is broken; the soft-top has been slashed with a knife; the vehicle has three flat tyres; there is grass growing through one of the rear wheels.

Should this small litany not be enough to convince you, now set down in black on white, perhaps you would consider extricating yourself from behind you desk and venturing out to look for yourself. That moving picture you see on the wall is not a television screen, it is the outside world, it is real life. Try it, you might learn something.